Parent Help Page

The subject of drugs can be very confusing to your children. If drugs are
so dangerous, why is the family medicine cabinet chocked full of them? If alcohol is so
bad for you, why do Mom and Dad drink wine at dinner?

It's not just parents who send mixed messages about drugs and alcohol.
While public service announcements and school educational programs warn about the dangers
of substance use; movies, TV, music, and advertising often glamorize it.

Parents and caregivers need to help their kids sort of the facts from
fiction. And it's not too soon to begin. The average age a child first tries alcohol is
12; for marijuana, it's 13. And many kids start becoming curious about these substances
even sooner.

Talking with Kids About Drugs and Alcohol

1. Listen Carefully

Student surveys reveal that when parents listen attentively to their
children's concerns and feelings, kids feel comfortable talking to them, and are more
likely to stay drug-free.

2. Let Kids Know it's Okay to Act Independently

This is particularly important since peer pressure is a reason kids try
drugs. So if everyone in the family except your eight-year-old son wants to go on the
roller coaster, don't force him to go or insist the entire family skip the ride. Instead,
let him know that it's okay to act independently from the group.

3. Role Play How to Say No!

Role play ways in which your child can refuse to go along with his friends
without becoming a social outcast. Try saying something like this to your 9, 10, or even
12 year-old: "Lets play a game. Suppose you and your friends are at Andy's house
after school and they find some beer in the refrigerator and ask you to join them in
drinking it. The rule in our family is children are not allowed to drink any alcohol. What
could you say?"

If your child comes up with a good response, commend him. If he doesn't,
offer a few suggestions like, "No thanks. Let's play Nintendo 64 instead," or
" No thanks. I don't drink beer. I need to keep in shape for football practice.

4. Encourage Choice

Allow your child plenty of opportunity to become a confident
decision-maker. An eight-year-old can choose the outfit she wants to wear to school today.
A nine-year-old is capable of deciding if she wants to invite lots of friends to her
birthday party or just a close friend or two. A 12-year-old can choose whether she wants
to go out for basketball or join the school band. As your child becomes more skilled at
making all kinds of good choices, both you and she will feel more secure in her ability to
make the right decision concerning drugs and alcohol if and when the time arrives.

5. Provide Age-Appropriate Information

Make sure that the information you offer fits your child's age and cognitive level.
When your six or seven-year-old is brushing his teeth, you can say, "There are lots
of things we need to do to keep our bodies strong and healthy, like brushing our teeth.
But there are also some things that we shouldn't do because they can hurt our bodies, like
smoking or taking any medicines when we are not sick."

An eight-year-old can understand a simple lesson about specific drugs, like marijuana
or alcohol. If you're watching TV and marijuana is mentioned, take advantage of the
opportunity to say something like "Do you know what marijuana is? It's a bad drug
that can hurt your body." If your child has more questions, answer them. If not, let
it go. Short, simple comments, initiated by you and repeated often enough will get the
message across.

You can offer older children the same message, but add more drug-specific information.
For example, explain to your 10-to-12-year-olds what marijuana and crack look like, their
street names, and how they can affect the body. And don't be afraid to talk tough. You can
say, "Cocaine and crack are very dangerous and illegal drugs that could kill you even
if you take them just once."

6. Establish a Clear Family Position on Drugs

It's okay simply to say, "We don't allow any drug use, and children in this family
are not allowed to drink alcohol. The only time you can take drugs is when the doctor or
Mom and Dad give you medicine because you are sick. We made that rule because we love you
very much and know that drugs can hurt your body and make you very sick; some may even
kill you."

7. Teach Children to follow Rules

Establishing a family policy toward drugs won't do much good unless your children
already know how to obey rules. That's why it's best to give them practice in compliance
by setting up - and expecting them to obey - rules for everyday situations first.

For a five- or six-year-old, the rule may be as simple as, "You must always hold
Mom's hand when you cross the street. There is lots of traffic and I don't want you to get
hit by a car." For an eight- or nine-year-old, a rule might be, "No throwing
balls in the living room. Too many things in there could break." For a 10- or
11-year-old, "No TV until after all homework is done. It's important that you
concentrate on your assignment, and the TV is too distracting." Once he knows there's
a price to pay, he's more likely to listen when you set firm rules about drugs and
alcohol.

8. Do the Right Thing

If your kids see you drinking to excess or taking drugs irresponsibly, it completely
undercuts your well-intentioned discussions. So after an exhausting day at work, try not
to reach for a beer the minute you walk in the door; it conveys the message that drinking
is the best way to unwind. If you're having company for dinner, offer non-alcoholic
beverages to your guest in addition to wine or beer. And take care not to pop pills, even
the over-the-counter remedies, indiscriminately. Your behavior needs to reflect your
belief that drugs and alcohol must be used responsibly and sparingly.

This may also be a very good time to quit smoking tobacco products. Studies show that
parents who smoke or chew tobacco are more likely to have children that smoke and chew. If
you smoke, did your parents also? Most adults will answer yes, and this is often seen as
acceptable behavior for their children.

If your child is participating in the D.A.R.E. program or has graduated, and you still
smoke; try making a contract with your child to quite. I have had many parents and
students tell me that this was an effective way for them to break the addiction and quit.
It's not easy, but it could make all the difference in the world for keeping your child
drug-free.

If you would like further information or suggestions on how to help your child, please
do not hesitate to call me at the El Paso County Sheriff's Office, 520-7251.